I’m trying really hard to start writing “stuff” again and to post often. So far, I am failing. All manner of interesting events in my life and in the world and I am just. . . silent.<\/p>\n
Do I start with “I have a breast cancer again and the first surgery didn’t get clean margins so I go back on Tuesday for a second try.”?<\/p>\n
Or do I start with “Theres a global pandemic and Seattle is the epicenter for the United States so I’m teleworking for like 6 weeks and J is home and out of school and Z and Y will be attending college on line, oh but Y is laid off from his job because the rec center is closed because PANDEMIC but Francis will be getting exposed every day bravely going out to make sure people are fed.”?<\/p>\n
I don’t know.<\/p>\n
This afternoon, I had an appointment with the radiation oncologist and it so reminded me why I absolutely abhor multiple choice tests. \u00a0They gave me this iPad with a quiz to fill out to estimate my mental health and stress levels. \u00a0Its the same one from 6-8 weeks ago when this stupidfuckingbreastcancer silliness started.<\/p>\n
So the first question is asking do I feel stressed or some such thing. \u00a0What balderdash! \u00a0I have a stupidfucking breast cancer AGAIN, the financial markets are crashing and Seattle is ground zero for a pandemic in the United States–if I’m not stressed, then I must be DEAD. \u00a0But seriously, how do I rate my stress? \u00a0When the cancer boat launched again, there was no pandemic. \u00a0Is it fair to compare my stress levels today with the pandemic added in to my stress level from 5 or 6 or 7 weeks ago when this started or should I try to separate the two? \u00a0Is my current stress level now a 5? a 6? an 8? \u00a0Why are you even asking me if a referral to a support group would help when I’m sitting under a sign that says all support groups are cancelled because PANDEMIC?<\/p>\n
Maybe I should just go to bed because Tomorrow Is Another Day.<\/p>\n
Good night.<\/p>\n
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I’m trying really hard to start writing “stuff” again and to post often. So far, I am failing. All manner of interesting events in my life and in the world and I am just. . . silent. Do I start … Continue reading